Keeping Memories

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Title : Keeping Memories
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    Keeping Memories

    The Candle
    Blow out the candle
    Let it go they say
    Watch the smoke dance up in the air
    And the flames leave
    with a simple dance
    As the wax hardens 
    leaving a warm spot full of scented memories
    But I don't want to let go
    They can't make me 
                                   by Meg Howell 2015


    Having a father with Alzheimer's has made it clear to me the importance of this blog.  It may not mean anything to anyone else, but I know that someday it may be all my family has as I fear I too may get Alzheimer's.  My father is only 76 yet he is like a 6-year-old child.  Sure he can remember things from his childhood and even from his 20's and 30's, but he had no memory of what happened 20 minutes ago or even yesterday.  I am grateful he can still remember my name though he can no longer remember those of his grandchildren.  He calls them sweety pie or big guy.  It is a dreadful disease.  I hate when he thinks we are being mean to him when we are only trying to protect him.  I hate that he doesn't understand what is going on with him or maybe he does, but who wants to admit you have Alzheimer's. There is no cure and while some days I want to hold on to him forever others I wish he would go.  Go before I have to put him in a home because I can no longer care for him. Is that horrible of me?  He does not want to live in a home and yet I am not sure how much longer my mother and I can care for him.  I am so grateful she helps me out as I don't know what I would do without her caring for him.  You see they are not married.  Never have been, but remained friends.  She cares for him because she knows my hands are full with six children.  She doesn't have to, but she does and as I said I am so grateful.  I am the keeper of memories for my family.  I am holding on tight.  I know one day these little ones will be out the door and all I will have are the pages here on this blog.

    I was looking through my iPhone and I found some random photos I wanted to share, memories I don't want to forget.  

     One of my guilty little pleasure-Yogurt gummies.

     Breakfast with Addy in Elba
     Butzbach city fountain

     I love this door number on a house here in town

     The girls playing at the park

     I just adore this doorway and the little girls too!
     Actually surprised I forgot to add these photos to the Mainz Post this summer.
    The windows were designed by Marc Chagall.


    The first day of Kindergarten for Avery
     A walk in the park
     Friends and local art found in the city of Giessen



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